Rhyme of the Not-So Ancient Mariner

Hi everybody! Mom took me for a stroller ride today! It was a nice sunny spring day here. It was so sunny that Mom put my hat on for me.

Dad came up with the "Not So Ancient Mariner" bit. What is that anyway? Dad said the hat looked like a mariner's hat. Who says "mariner"? He should stick with the nerd vibe and leave the comedy to people like me. But, to borrow one of Dad's equally unfunny cliches, "You gotta dance with the one that brought you". I guess I will leave the editorial content up to him since I can't type.

I had a lot of fun on my stroller ride. Dad was in Springfield, Missouri guarding a plate of cookies in the hotel kitchen - or so he says. Mom took a look at his stomach and muttered that he probably was telling the truth. I am going to have to work on coming up with a more exciting story for show and tell. Dad will be the Jack Bauer of the neighborhood by the time I get done.

So what happened in the last 24 hours for me? Well, let me tell you. Like I said, I took a stroller ride with Mom. Mom was pushing the stroller, I was riding in it.

After that, I began to plot to take over the world with Mom using ill-tempered sea-bass with lasers! Just like in the movie Austin Powers!

How much money would it take me to not destroy the world? One milllllllllllllllllllllion dollars! How's that? Did I nail Dr. Evil or what!

This is Dad asking Mom if he can hold me after I have already fallen asleep.......

• Dad: Want me to to hold her for you?
• Mom: Sh!
• Dad: It's no hassle...
• Mom: Sh!
• Dad: But...
• Mom: Sh!
• Dad: I'm...
• Mom: Sh!
• Dad: All I'm say...
• Mom: Sh!
• Dad: They're gonna get a...
• Mom: Sh!
• Dad: I'm...
• Mom: Sh!
• Dad: I'm just...
• Mom: Sh!
• Dad: Would...
• Mom: Sh!... Knock-knock.
• Dad: Who's there?
• Mom: Sh!
• Dad: But..
• Mom: Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.

I have noticed that Mom caught a little cabin fever recently. She was really bored and so she started making flowers out of squeeze cheese. She tries to make my baby food macaroni and cheese more exciting. Crazy lady, the next thing you know she will be flapping her arms and saying that she is Batman.

I think that I get my artistic side from her. Don't you?